Just for Laughs

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A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish."
The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, "I'd want peace in the Middle East."
The genie responds, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits."
The programmer then says, "Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes."
At which point the genie responds, "Um, let me see that map again."
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CIA - Computer Industry Acronyms

CD-ROM:

Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA:

People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN:

It Still Does Nothing

SCSI:

System Can't See It

MIPS:

Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

DOS:

Defunct Operating System

WINDOWS:

Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

OS/2:

Obsolete Soon

TooPnP:

Plug and Pray

APPLE:

Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

IBM:

I Blame Microsoft

MICROSOFT:

Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

COBOL:

Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

LISP:

Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses

MACINTOSH:

Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

AAAAA:

American Association Against Acronym Abuse.

WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW:

What You See Is What You Might Get If You're Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.
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A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, "Can't you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!"
To which the man replies, "I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings; we only worry about errors."
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